Cock Repellent

I was just walking down to the 7-11 to get the kinda crap you get at a convenience store. No shit, huh? I wasn't tryin to buy new hub caps or tornado insurance or a fuckin pair of sandals. I was gonna get some cigarettes and a bottle of V-8. Which I did. Sorry if I ruined the end of the fuckin story. CAUTION!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!

Me buying shit at a corner store really doesn't have anything to do with anything, other than that I had to explain why I was walkin down the street. Actually, now that I think about it, it's really none of your goddam business why I was walkin down the street. Who the fuck do you think you are? My dad or something? Jesus....

So anyway, I was walkin down the street when I saw some smooth operator who was attempting to put the charm on a mildly attractive woman. The lady was walking a Chocolate Lab who was much larger than your run of the mill Lab. Maybe he was mixed with something. I didn't ask because A) said smooth operator was already doing his thing, and B) I really didn't give a flying fuck about the lady or her dog.

What interested me was this: Prince Charming was actually just some dingleberry with a landing strip under his lip and his hat on backwards. The dog couldn't fuckin stand him. As a matter of fact, the dog looked like he wanted to rip the guy's landing strip off his face. The lady was being polite. "Sorry, I'm just out taking my dog for a walk. He's not friendly. Sorry...." It could all be easily translated to mean "Fuck off and leave me alone, you miserable douchebag."

By the time I quit paying attention, the guy was still trying to pet the dog. I kept on walkin. But then I thought about it and remembered that some men'll get a puppy cos the puppy might be a pussy magnet. Pretty young women seem to be far less likely to need to purchase cock magnets. In fact, having a big-ass, protective dog as a repellent for unwanted cocks would probably make a lot more sense.

Boring shit, no? Too bad. I felt like writing so I did.

Sayonara.