It's A Small World

I've gone underground. To the basement. I like it here. It's a little ratty but I like places to be a little ratty. I haven't done anything in the way of decorating so it's actually more than just a little fuckin ratty. If you wanna know the truth, it's currently more of a dungeon than a rat's nest. I plan on elevating its' status sometime from dungeon to rat's nest, but so far it doesn't appear that I'm in any big goddam hurry. I'm just hanging out in my little zone here, listening to tunes and stuff and it's okay with me. Except for the duct that runs along the ceiling.

I haven't measured it but I think the heating duct is about five feet and nine inches off the ground. I'm six feet tall and if I were to hold my head up and walk squarely into it, it would smash me right in the bridge of my nose. That would fuckin hurt. Of course I don't walk into the goddam thing like that so that's one point for me. After that I can only lose the game. I don't have any other defense against the aluminum ductwork.

Oh yeah wait, and the duct is also a wimp! It's corners aren't even sharp! That makes two points for ol Kevo. Or does it?

That pipe is pretty sneaky. I'll duck under it and then raise my head prematurely. This results in me basically head-butting the goddam ceiling with the top of my head whilst simultaneously wrenching the hell outta my neck. Honestly, it's not that big a deal when I do that on the heating duct. I've met some pretty vicious doorways like that though.

So it's not all that painful, but it happens. If it was painful, I'd fuckin remember not do it. Or maybe I wouldn't... Anyway, once you stab yourself in the forehead with some bullshit wrought iron chandelier or something, you are no longer an innocent threat to the light fixture. You're gonna avoid the thing at all costs. But being vaguely annoyed that you tapped your noggin on aluminum with some give to it doesn't do much to jolt my memory.

The other night I walked into it going at a pretty good speed. I thought I had given myself plenty of clearance. Nope. WHAM!!! GODDAMMIT!!! I've done that more than a few times against the corner of the rectangular-bodied metal snake that lurks along the joists, seemingly impartially guarding the basement from the unwary and the drunk. But this time I really gave it a good whack.

So I'm not even bothering to tally up the heating system's points. It's officially terrorized me. Hell, I wind up walking around down here with my head down even though it's only necessary to do so when walking beneath the goddam thing. It has me whipped like a puppy. Is that even something people say?