Faith

Well, this is thing that I'm not sure what I'm gonna say is certain to sound fucked up. It has plenty of the qualities of a soap opera. Then again, what doesn't? If you don't have a story that I can relate to a soap opera, then it's fuckin boring and shut up. Unless I can compare it to the Three Stooges, in which case you might as well tell me what the fuck happened. I don't like the Three Stooges, never have. But if you ran into a fuckin telephone pole on your bike and you saw the humor in it, by all means tell me the story. I'm all ears.

I had a friend (I say “had” mostly cos I haven't talked to the motherfucker in awhile) who seemed to have made the decision that it would be funny if he became a redneck asshole. I mean, he was just kidding. But he seemed to have taken his joke too far, seemed to have forgotten who he was, or at least seemed to have forgotten what fundamental ideals that we shared that made me feel a connection with him in the first place. I mean, beyond those basic agreements we had had about how the world is and how it oughtta be, we weren't all that similar. But I admired him for his strengths and for his abilities that I lacked, and he admired me for mine. We complimented one another.

This particular friend of mine didn't drink very much. Most of my close friends were as drunk as I was, which was pretty motherfuckin drunk. This dude wasn't like most of my close friends, another reason why I loved and respected him. But we had always seen eye to eye on the basics, the fundamentals, the elementary: WAR IS EVIL. RACISM (especially racism in the face of information and logic, not what's been passed down by one's bigoted parents or society) IS EVIL. WE LUST FOR FAIRNESS FOR EVERYBODY and for EVERYTHING. Something like that. If you don't know what I'm talkin about then you never will. But yeah, the guy was kidding about being a racist, god-fearing American until he almost became one.

I finally told him to shut the fuck up. And I was an alcoholic bum, living on his property and enjoying the profits of his hard work, dedication and endurance (all qualities of his that I sincerely admired). It could've gotten ugly. It almost did. That guy could've totally fucked me up. But he wouldn't. He was my friend. I think he forgot who he was for a minute there. We talked about it and that's more or less the last time I really talked to him. From what I hear, he kinda grew up and a little to the right, but that's alright. I haven't grown up (if I have then I have nothing to show for it) but I still respect him and hope all the best for him.

Yesterday I found myself in the unlikely situation to be arguing on the side of the Holocaust's existence. My friend with whom I was debating was playing devil's advocate, but he was losing. And he was pissed that he was losing. I think I know him well enough to know that he wasn't serious.  He probably just doesn't like losing an argument.  Who does?  Anyway, I may be a fuckin idiot, but I'm a fuckin genius too so don't tell me that the Holocaust was any kind of a hoax. I dunno. I used to be paranoid and I'd shrug at any conspiracy theory that somebody came up with. After all, how the fuck do I know anything? Do I actually know that the Holocaust happened?  Do I really know that the Earth revolves around the Sun?  Well, I don't. But I have faith in humanity. I have faith that nothing like Soviet Russia can last forever before it's violently overthrown by humans who just can't fuckin take it anymore. And I have faith that humans are capable of torture, genocide and burning the bodies of innocents in mass graves.

Some folks have faith in Jesus but his track record is mythological, at best.

I have faith in humanity and it makes me wanna fuckin puke.