Wet Dreams

Jeeze, it's hard to think of shit to yammer about when I'm in a bad mood. I guess I could just start complaining about stuff, but that's about as interesting as relating my dreams to you. Of course, some of my dreams are really really fuckin captivating. I've heard that hearing about others' dreams is about the most boring and uninteresting activity that one can have the misfortune of getting involved in. I've been to jail a bunch of times and I've been to church thrice, and I can say with all honesty that I'd rather listen to some fool tell me about the storyline that his subconcious had concocted to keep him busy with while he was sleeping.

Still, your dreams are fuckin stupid. Unless I'm in them. And then I only wanna hear about what I was doing. And half the time I don't even wanna hear about that, cos it turns out that all I was doing was cooking scrambled eggs in the dog food dish or some goddam thing. And really, what kinda cameo appearance is that?

I recently had a dream that I lost my golf clubs and that my hammer was all floppy. I mentioned it to some asshole and he brought Freud into the conversation. So I shut up, most certainly to the relief of everybody within earshot. Then I had a dream that I had a fuckin nail sticking through my finger and I was trying to pry it out with a claw hammer... It hurt, too. Who knows what was actually going on to make my finger hurt in real life...

Now that I think about it, what the hell's up with wet dreams? Has anybody ever actually had one of these things? I'm always just about to get laid and then the lady turns into some monster or something and I never get the opportunity to knock it out. And I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to have sex and/or masturbate 6 or 7 times a day if you expect to have a wet dream. So I guess I'm fucked. Not in my dreams, though.

But I wonder what the hell's goin on in real life while a guy's experiencing a wet dream? Is it the kinda thing that you really hope nobody was paying attention to? Alright, this has been completely fuckin stupid, I apologize for posting it, but I'm posting it anyway cos I was bored enough to write it. Sayonara.