Opossimititism

I had subjected myself to being arrested and/or towed in order to loiter around a trash can at a local coffee shop with some other fools who were equally as indecisive as I as to where we were headed.

The coffee shop chick wandered up with a trash bag and some napkins or a spray bottle or somethin and, figuring it would be too much of a pain in the butt to navigate through our little social club, casually asked my buddy if the garbage can needed to be emptied.

My friend took a gander into the blackness of the trash can and told her that it'd probably be okay if she left it alone.

"It's half empty," he told her.

Tsk, tsk, she seemed to say with her eyes. "I like to think of them as half full," she nearly scolded him.

"Yeah, but it's a fuckin trashcan," I pointed out. "Trashcans are better off being half empty. So are diapers. The half empty/half full rule works with glasses, but not with everything. And what if it's a glass of piss or something?"

She frowned, agreed, and wandered away. So did I and my friends, all of us forgetting about this new development on what had up until then been concrete bumpersticker philospohy.

But I remembered, and soon I shall force the world to understand.

Or at least the part of the world who's stuck behind me at a red light.

If I ever make the fuckin bumper sticker.