You know what I've always hated is parades. It seems like it's always too hot or too cold and then you're stuck in the middle of some crowd of dumbasses watching a bunch of stupid shit that you don't care about and then you can't fuckin leave til it's over.
I would always find myself stretching my neck to find out how long this whole goddam thing was gonna take so I could get the fuck outta here.
If you like parades, great. Go watch one. Have a fuckin ball.
One time when I was 15, a few buddies of mine and I lied to our folks and we drove down to Austin from Dallas to do acid and drink beer and fuck around. We were in a beat up Datsun station wagon with a bunch of stupid punk rock nonsense spraypainted all over it: Anarchy signs and fuck you's and DK's and crap.
We were all coming down off acid and driving north on Congress on a Sunday morning, heading straight for the Capitol bulding, when we noticed that the traffic seemed to have pretty much disappeared. There were cops all over the place and everybody and their goddam mother was standing around on the sidewalk, gawking at us.
We were driving pretty slow cos we didn't wanna get pulled over. We must've showed up right before the street was officially shut down for some parade, but it sure felt like the crowd was there for us. We started waving at everybody and honked the horn a couple of times.
It was the best parade ever.
